Posts tagged german

HS – LESSON D/E – REFUGEES 1

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GERMAN PERFECTIONISM

 

Thare isnt much to do with D, it just disappears in the word ‘sandwich’. But many things happen with the letter E. Silent E’s without a function ar droppd: ar, hav, hartless. Quite a few E’s could be seen as silent, but also as being pronounced as a shwa, the obscure vowel as the E in ‘vowel’. In these cases they remain in the word, exept befor R when it makes a consonant duplication unnecessary: genral, seprate, difrent insted of genneral, sepparate, different.

The rule for stressd short vowels is: they must be followd by 2 or mor consonants, and if this is not the case, we double it, exept befor the endings -ic, -ity and -ogy. Example: The fettid flattulence was a calamity for the lunatic iddiot. Consonant duplication has almost only that function, and if it doesnt fulfill that function it is simplified: Sometimes the rifraf gets an anoying diarea and atacks the Hel’s Angels.

The rule for stressd long vowels: long vowels ar followd by one consonant and a vowel, and if thare is no long vowel, we insert the magic E, as in ‘late, bite, cute’. The magic-E is a bizarr way to show the length of a vowel, seprated by a consonant, but it is the usual way english does it, and thats the genral way to do it in the House Stile: wate, mite, bote, fule. The ending -le/ly is considderd as a single vowel, which means that we double after a short vowel: We struggle and we tussle for a giggling future.

The long E is not made with magic-E, it is made with EE: The theef had a feer of getting diabeetis, tharefor he had a pane in the reer.

Short E is spelld with E. But words like ‘any’ and ‘many’ hav to wait for the letter N, then we can spell ‘enny’ and ‘menny’. We hav to wait with thees rules in many cases, for example to spell ‘wate’ for ‘wait’ and ‘weight’ we hav to wait for the letter I, thare we can drop the I.

Altogether: when we drop a letter, the most likely way to pronounce the resulting word has to be the way the word is pronounced. If two words with the same pronunciation ar spelld the same way, it is not a problem, but a word cant be changed if the new form is alreddy occupied by another word with a different pronunciation, so we cant spell ‘own’ as ‘one’, becaus that has a different pronunciation and thare is no W-rule in HS to change ‘one’ to ‘wun’ (or ‘won’).

Normally this is a seeries about countries, but sometimes i talk about other subjects. At the moment i giv german lessons for refugees, and i write about it for the german newspaper Berliner Zeitung. So i’ll post some of thees articles heer. At the beginning the communication with the students was quite difficult, and we wer only able to talk to eech other in a “train station german”, as germans call it: very basic, with no grammar. In english you’d say BSE, bad simple english. In this case very bad and very simple. But the spelling is HS.

 

My Shazza – liv together many yeers – say me too long too much front computer my little office, this is cocoon, me should go out – why dont teech german to refugees? Thare is many! OK, OK, then me teech german for big charity in refugee center, at leest do something useful. But befor beginning classes we hav refugee barbecue party. Hopefuly thare is enough refugee left to teech when class beginn. Month later get 2 presence list plus 1 absence list – but usually me can see if somebody absent in presence list also? Anyway me share class with teecher from Eest Europe. She say she heer that thare is only women in class, lets see.

Charity office say thare is 3 inmatriculation. 3 student, 2 teecher, too little student for so many teecher. Maybe announcement in german and nobody understand? In one refugee center caretaker did so: 3 page house rules in deepest burocratic german, eritrean mechanician – one month heer – should reed and sign plees.

Before course i herd i must teech by school book. But then i need schoolbook! OK, i can get schoolbook in office. Ah, i herd thare is beemer, ware beemer? Still must organize beemer, also problem security – but soon. I go course, start 4 student. Want to ask office woman becaus registration – some hav registration, others nothing, and in form german bureaucratic words like ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’, this is leegal status of foreigner – must do all this? If must do, must fill forms all day insted german class. But office woman in meeting. I begin: My name Zé do Rock, what your name? I come from Brazil, you come from ware? What is your job in your country? Mor 2 student come. Make pronoun: me butiful, you ugly. Make greeting and polite forms: good morning, good afternoon, hi, hello, how you do, thank you, plees, plees i hav no money! Mor student come. I make numbers. Come mor 2 student. All agen: My name Zé, what your name? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, call you Turimi – 4 Ali in class too many Ali. Ware you come from? Syria, Syria, but also other arab and african countries. Also chinese – why come chinese, is China not wonderful democracy? And not only women in course, actually mor men than women. Profession? You name it: mechanic, acountant, technician, truk driver. And you, Zayid? Lawyer in Syria. And you, Zabar? Poleeceman in Iraq? Oh! Plees wait, i go toilet! And i go to door as if fleeing. Zayid say: “No problem! He poleeceman, me lawyer!” 

3 mor student come. What is name, ware come from, one mor time and one mor time, ai ai ai! Make lot gesticulation, but sometimes difficult: how can make gesture for word ‘how’? Or word ‘can’? Then prefer say in english french italian arabic somalian chinese. Unfortunatly my chinese not so good, somalian eeven worse. Syrians mostly speek bit english, but some student speek nothing exept own language. Me look dictionary and say to chinese girl: huòzhe. Girl laugh. I show word to her, she say: aaahh, huòzhe! But that was what i sed! End of class, over dozen peeple. Then come woman from office and want know who payd. Some maybe payd not, others maybe dont understand – we still had not verb ‘pay’. And me? I filld one list – must fill other 2 also? No no, i will get new list. Charity own rules, building administration other rules, city administration other rules, country administration other rules, still hav to coordinate, but difficult cleering shelf when flood – of peeple. Important is that refugees understand that evrything perfect in Germany, must adapt!

EU – LEÇON D – REFUGIES 1

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PERFECCIONISMO ALEMAN

 

Brazilyalılar dikkat etmelisiniz: europanoca olarak, DI /di/ ancak /dZi/ telaffuz edilmez – TÜR2 – brazilians should take care: in europano, DI is pronounced /di/, not /dZi/. Os alemaes e os eslavos devem tentar pronunciar o D final como D, e no como T. Das englishe TH wird im europano mit D geschrieben, aussa wenn das wort vom griechian commt, dann simpel mit T: Teatre teories. ‘The’ remains ‘the’ for the moment, because dis is no europano word: the article in europan is, as we know, ‘la’ – or ‘el’ before vocals – but for dat we have to wait for the letter L. Ah, oui, et la D muet du français disaparait. Y el T aleman en palabras germanicas cambia al D, cuando la palabra en las otras lenguas germanicas tiene D.

Basicamente esta serie es sobre la países, mas a veces es tambien sobre otros temas. Şimdi ben mültecilere alman dersleri veriyorum ve ben alman gazetesi Berliner Zeitung bu konuda bir dizi makale yazdı – TÜR3 – Now i’m giving german lessons to refugees, and i wrote a series of articles about it for the german newspaper Berliner Zeitung. Eu va postar alguns deles aqui.

Maine Shazza sagt, ich sitz zu oft in mainen büro, dag und nacht am computer, ich sollte raus – how about giving refugees german classes? OK, je vais enseigner alleman aux refugiés pour une organisacion caritative, comme ça je suis au moins un peu utile pour la monde. Mas antes de comenzar, yo estoy invitado pra una parrillada de la refugiados, yo solo espero que resten algunos refugiados pra la cuales yo pued enseñar aleman. Через місяць, я отримую 2 списки присутність, i оdин список віdсутність – UKR1 – One month later i get 2 presence lists and one absence list – mas é necessario mesmo uma lista de absência, se a lista de presença ja diz quem est absente? Egal, ich taile den curs mit a lehra von Osteuropa. She herd dat dere are only women in the course.

La bureau de la charitee dit quil ay 3 matriculacions. 3 estudiantes y 2 profesores, son pocos estudiantes pra tantos profesores. Може bути, bуло оголошено тільки що зроbив на німецькому, і ніхто не розумів? – UKR2 – Maybe the announcement was just made in german and nobody understood? Num centro de refugiados o zelador fez assim: 3 saiten hausregeln im besten funccionars-deutsh, eritreishe mechaniker – ain monat hier – sall lesen und undaschraiben bitte.

Before the course i herd i’m supposed to teach by the schoola book. Oui, mais dans ce cas il faut avoir la livre! OK, puedo buscarlo en la oficin. Ах, і я чув, що у них є проектор, dе знахоdиться проектор? – UKR3 – Ah, and I have heard that they have a beamer, where is the beamer? Ah, projector ainda tem que organizar, tem problema de segurans – mas em brev o problema será resolvido. Ich gehe in den curs, starte mit 4 studenten. I want to ask the office woman abaut the registration – quelques étudiants ont un registre, des autres ne lont pas, mais dans la formulaire il y a des mots bureaucratiques allemans comme ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’ (el estado legal del estrangero) – mae’n rhaid i mi wneud hyn i gyd? – WAL – do I have to do all this? Se eu tiver que fazer isso durante a classe, eu va passar o dia inteiro preenchendo formulario de estudante.

Aba betreuer in sitzung. I start: mon nom est Zé do Rock, comment est ton nom? De donde vienes? Што ваша прафесія? – BEL – What is your profession? Vem mais dois estudantes. Ich mache pronomen: i’m beutiful, you’re ugly. Je fais la salutacions. Buenos dias, buenas tardes, hola, aló, gracias, por favor, por favor yo no tengo dinero! Повече стуdенти иdват – BUL – More students come. Eu fasso os números. Commen noh 2 studenten. My name is Zé, what is your name? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, je tappele Turimi, 4 Ali dans la classe sont trop Alis. De donde vienen? Sýrie, Sýrie, ale i dalších arabských a afrických zemí – CZE – Syria, Syria, but also other arab and african countries. Chinês também – wieso commen auch chinesen, is China nicht a blühende democratie? And dere arent only women in the course, actually men are the majority. La travail? Todo posible: mecànics, comptables, tècnics, conductors de camions – CAT – mechanicians, accountants, technicians, truck drivers. E tu, Zayid? Advocat in Syria. And you, Zabar? Policier en Irak? Uh! Por favor, esper un momento, yo vad al baño. Jeg løber hen til døren, som om jeg var på flugt, Zayid siger: DAN – I run to the door as if I was fleeing, Zayid says: “No ha problem, ele é policial, eu sou advogado!”
Da commen noh 3 studenten. What is your name, where do you come from, again and again, ai ai ai! Je gesticule beaucoup, mais parfois cest difficile: como puedo hacer el gesto pra la palabra ‘como’? Või sõna “võib”? – EES – Or the word ‘can’? Daí eu prefiro explicar em inglês, francês, italiano, arabe, somaliano ou chinês. Laider is main chinesish nicht so gud, main somalish is noh plus mau. The syrians speak some english, but some students dont speak a single word in other languages than their own. Je vois dans la google traducteur, et dit a la chinoise: huòzhe. La china se ríe. Thaispeáint mé an focal san fhoclóir, a deir an cailín Sínis, aaaaahhh! EIR – I show the word in the dictionary, the chinese girl says, aaaahhh! Huòzhe! Foi o que eu disse! Ende der classe, da sin nu über a dutzen leute. Den the woman from the office comes and asks who has pai the fee. Quelques etudiants nont pas payé, peut-être, peut-être des autres nont pas compri – no tuvimos todavía el verbo ‘pagar’. Kaj mi? – ESP – And I? Eu preenchi só uma lista – muss ich die anderen 2 auch ausfüllen? No, i will get a new one anyway. La charité a ses propres règlas, ladministracion du batiment des autres règlas, ladministracion de la cité des autres règlas, ladministracion du pays des autres règlas. Mas es difícil organizar la estantería cuando hay una inundación – de gente. Garrantzitsuena da errefuxiatuek egiten ulertu in Alemania dena da perfektu dela, egokitu behar dute! – EUS – The important thing is that the refugees understand that in Germany everything is perfect, they have to adapt!

HS – LESSON F – REFUGEES 2

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TOILET, MONEY AND SHIT

The sound /f/ is spelld with F: The schizofrenic filosofer lafd so loud, he provoked a catastrofe. And of course useless F’s disappeer.

Second day with german course: some student come not, but many new ones, altogether almost two dozen, hav to get mor chair and table. Need felt pen for blak bord that is wite, but door for compartment with writing stuf closed. Hav to find someone in office with kee. And then: pink pen very week, and probbably reffugees bad eyes. Green pen also week. Eventually take blu, very good very strong, but later want to deleet and cant deleet. Then hav to write presence list but hav no pen, normal pen. Normally always hav 1 pen in jacket, 3 or 4 pen in rucksak, today nothing, one student lend his pen, becaus me, teecher, hav no pen. Hav to show to foreigners in Germany evrything perfect! But OK, me brazilian. New students come – also indians. India also dictatorship? Come butiful woman from Kosovo. English nothing, german nothing, only albanian – problem, becaus my albanian rather no good. Must start from beginning. Yeah, worst language problems i hav in Europe, mostly Eest Europe. OK, actually also many french speek nothing only french, in Spain many spanish speek nothing only spanish. For me no problem, but for english or german or russian or greek offen problem.

Must explain pronoun: ‘sie’ (pronounced ‘zee’) meen ‘she’, but meen also ‘they’, and meen ‘you’ – german very exact, sometimes this sometimes that. If person unknoen or very important with suit and ti, dont use ‘du’ (you, thou), use also ‘Sie’, respectful ‘you’. Thus 3 pronoun meenings for the word ‘sie’. OK, this is no problem for arab, they know system, but for english speekers or for chinese big problem. Chinese sistem super basic, dont hav eeven difrence between ‘he’ and ‘she’. By way, japanese opposit: dont know 2 words for ‘you’, but 6 words for ‘I’, depending importance of other person and how much must bend down. Japanese nuts. In old times mor nuts, they had 30 word for ‘I’, depending how much bend down. If you refuse collector, hav to bend down till floor.

Brake for fresh air (Marlboro), Mohammad say to Kosovo woman he saw she in event X for reffugees and other calamities. Kosovo woman say she was thare but never seen him. I explain: Mohammad, you remember this woman becaus she butiful, she remember not you becaus you ugly. Very simple.

Come two new afghanis. Anyway students know alreddy important words: toilet, money and shit! Important to call names, in German hav to integrate, so hav to lern how to call names in german. Besides: foreigner shouldnt beet wife. Politicians warn foreigners, not 15% of german men who beet wife – maybe only foreigner should not beet woman, beeting wife only a rite of german man? And foreigner hav to lern honesty! Many foreigner like german soccer, so maybe big boss of FC Bayern, Hoeness, could tell foreigner in TV jingle that must be onest – now he not in prison anymor, for good behavior (after hiding all those millions in Switzerland), so he must hav time.

In beginning, only eesy german word, like ‘spritzt’ (you splash, cf. ‘thou splashest’) or ‘sprachst’ (you spoke, thou spokest), syllables with 8 letter, later wen they better traind also word like ‘schleichst’ (you sneek) or ‘schmauchst’ (you smoke with plesure, thou smokest), syllables with 10 letter. Also word like ‘sechstschnellster’ (the 6th fastest), with 8 consonant in row, and in last course week full program with words like ‘Grundstücksverkersgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’, which means mor or less Regulation for the Transmission of Competences in the Estate Trade Licences.

I teech week days, then i ask Yousouf what he will do monday. He say: “Beeting foreigners.” Lernd alreddy system Germany!

End of class, outside take fresh air (Marlboro) with some students. Ask woman from Kosovo what is job. No job. OK, now no job, is forbidden for not yet recognized reffugees – but erlier, in Kosovo? No job. Problems in your country? Yeah, always shit – already lernd word (german ‘scheisse’). Many problem, she say – but no problem, avanti popolo!

EU – LIÇAO E – REFUGIS 2

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TOALETTE, GELD E CAK

 

The lettra E can be pronounced as a closed /e/ (as the A in ‘say’, but widaut being followd by the Y-sound) or open /E/ (as in ‘set’). Sa veut dire que la brasilians et la parlants del englis ne devraient pas le prononcer comm /i/, la fransis ne devraient pas le prononcer comme /ö/ (comme la premier E dans la mot ‘premier’). No hace diference si lo pronuncias abierto o cerrado, pra los españoles no hace diference de cualquier maner, ya que ellos solo tienen el E cerrado.

A letra E é usee como final pra case todos os verbos e adxectivos de orixe xermanic e en varios de orixe romanic – GAL – The letter E is used as ending for almost all verbs and adjectives of germanic origin, and in quite a few of romanic origin. Como outre vocais, a letra E disapare cuando no vem uma vocal na próxima palavra na mesme fras, mesme se ha tambem alguns E que sao tabu: si vershwinden nicht, zum exemple im word ‘cafe’, das ni ‘caf’ werd. In a diccionary dey would normally be shown in bold. Todos E’s que tao scrito sao pronuncee. Plural is mit -S formee, nach consonant -ES: Not alweys the wordes in the bookes sey the trud – al end on dira ‘Non alwen la vordes na bukes sei la veritee’.

La participio es formee con -ee na fin, a no ser que la próxima letra en la mesme frase comece con vocal, caso en que la participio es formee con la finale vocal del verbo + T: Έτσι, «η αγαπημeνη γυναίκα» ίνι «el amee fem”, αλλά “το αγαπημeνο αυτοκίνητο” ίνι “el amat auto” – GRE – So “the beloved woman” is “el amee fem”, but “the beloved car” is “el amat auto”.

O abstracto dos adjectivos em europan é -itee: Die nacionalitee des attachee wurde noh nicht constatee, wegen der stupiditee des comitees.

The stress is normally on the vocal befor the laste consonant, widaut considering a finale S as a finale consonant. Mais dans la mots avec -IC, el accent est avant cet -IC: matemátic, geográfico. Y algunas palabras tienen la tonica despuees del última consonant, ellas son largas e mostree con un E despuees de un E o I, o un H despuees de las otre vocales: eclah, monee, geografie, dodoh, tabuh.

Annad námskeidid deg – ISL – The seccond course day: alguns studantes tao faltando, em compensassao um montao de novos tao chegando, na total cuase duas duzias, nós tem que organize mais cadeir e mesa. Ich brauche stift für die waisse tabla, die dür für die schribware-camer is zu. I hav to finde someone in the ofice wid a key. Et puis la stylo-feutre rose est super faible, et je cre que ces refugis nont pas des yeux super bons. La verde tambien es biene debil. Al fin io prendo il blu – super buono, super forte, solo un po più tardi io scopre che non è possibil eliminarlo, che cac! – ITA1 – At the end i take blue – very good, very strong, only a bit later i find out that you can’t delete it – shit. Eu tenho que fazer a presence list, e no acha caneta (normal). Normal hab ich ainen culli in der jakentashe, 3 o 4 im ruksakle, nu is nix e wida nix, a student muss mir sainen culli laihn, wail ich, der lehrer, kainen culli ha. We must show to dese foreigners dat in Germany all is perfect! Mais je suis brasilian. Vienen mas studiantes – anch indiani – ITA2 – also indians. India tambem é dictadur? Comm auch shöne frau de Kosovo. English noding, german noding, only albanian – c’est un problem, parce que mon albanais ce nest pas super fort. Tengo que comenzar del comienzo otra vez. Si, le peggiori difficoltà linguistiche sono in Europa – ITA3 – yeah, you have the most language difficulties in Europe. Na Europa Oriental. Wobai vile franzosen cannen nur francish, vil espanier cann nur espanish. For me no problem, but for meny othres it is a mega problem.

Il faut que j’explique la pronoms: ‘sie’ /zi/ signific ‘ella’, ‘sie’ signific ‘ellos’ o ‘ellas’, significa ‘usted’ – Njemački je vrlo točna, ponekad ovo, ponekad to – JUG1 – german is very exact, sometimes this, sometimes that. Com pessoa desconhecee ou important, com terno e cravat, no se diz ‘du’ (tu) e sim ‘Sie’ (o Senhor). Gud, für araber is das kain problem, si kennen das system. But neider the anglos nor the chinese know it – la chinois ont un pronoms systema super basique, ils n’ont pas mem une difference entre ‘il’ et ‘ela’. A propósito, la japoneses no tienen 2 pronombres pra ‘tu’ y ‘usted’, en compensación 6 palabras pra ‘yo’, dependendo de cuanto se tiene que inclinar pra saludar el otre person. Japani su ludi – JUG2 – The japanese are crazy. Antigamente les ainda eram mais loucos, les tinham 30 palavras pra ‘eu’, dependendo o cuanto les tinham que se curvar. Wenn du straszakehrer warst, musstest du bis zum boden büken.

We hav a brek for fresh aer (Marlboro), Mohammad seys to the Kosovo woman dat he saw her in the event X for refugees and othre calamitees. La fema de Kosovo dit quela etait labas mais ela ne la jamais vu. Yo explico: Mohammad, atceraties šī sieviete, jo viņa ir skaista, viņa neatceras, jo Jūs esat neglīts – LAT – Mohammad, you remember this woman because she’s beautiful, she does not remember you because you’re ugly. É evident.

Da commen zwai neu afghanen. Enywey the students know now the really importante wordes: toilett, argent, et merd! Ellos tienen que se integrar en Alemania, y ahí la gente blasfema mucho! Ir ne tik, kad – LIE – And not only that: Strangero deve no bater em fem! Die 15% der deutshen manner die ihre fraun shlagen werden nicht gewarnt – meybe only foreigners shouldnt beat their wives, meybe dis is a human right reservee for german men? Et il faut que ces etrangers aprennent el honnetetee. A muchos strangeros les gusta la futbol, entonces la mega jefe de FC Bayern, Hoeness, que pasó unos tiempos en prisón por defraudación de impuestos mas salió mas temprano por buena conducta, puede hacer un video en youtube propagando la honestidad?

Kezdjük könnyen német szavakat, mint a “spritzt” (splash) vagy a “sprachst” (amiről beszélt), szótagokat csupán 8 betű, es kesőbb, amikor jól kepzett, kemenyebb szavak, mint “schleichst” (besurranó), vagy “schmauchst” (dohányzik örömmel), szótagokat 10 betű – MAG – We start with easy german words, like ‘spritzt’ (you splash) or ‘sprachst’ (you spoke), syllables with only 8 letters, and later, when they are well trained, harder words like ‘schleichst’ (you sneak) or ‘schmauchst’ (you smoke with pleasure), syllables with 10 letters. Tambem palavras como ‘sechstschnellster’ (o sexto mais rapido), com 8 consoantes em seguid, e na ultima semana do curso vem as palavras campeãs, como ‘Grundstücksverkehrsgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’, que quer dizer mais ou menos ‘Regulamentassao da Transmissao de Competences das Licensas na Comercio de Terrenos’.

Und ich lehre wochendage. Den i ask Yousouf what he will fa mondey evening. Il dit, “Frapper etrangers.” El ya ha aprendido la sistem!

Ende der class, draussen shmauch ich a cigarette mit a par studenten. I ask the woman from Kosovo what is her job. Pas de job. Ahora no, claro – refugiados no pueden trabajar encuanto no son reconocidos como tales – mas antes, en Kosovo? Нема работа или – MAK – No job either. Problemas no teu país? Ja, ima shaisse – she lerned the word already. Baucoup problemas, ela dit – mas no hay problem, avanti popolo!

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