Archive for August, 2016

BR – LIÇAO H – REFUGIADOS 1

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PERFECCIONISMO ALEMAO
O H mudo nao é mais scrito: O pacient com epatit foi vítima de um omicídio no ospício. Essa regra tem 2 excessoes: hotel e hospital. Sao duas palavras muito internacionais, e seria pena se um strangeiro foce vítima de um atac de érnia e nao encontrace o hospital porquê na placa tava scrito ‘ospital’.
Normalment essa seri é sobre países, mas as vezes eu vario o tema. Por exemplo agora eu tou dando aula de alemao pra refugiado, daí eu screvi uma seri de artigos pro jornal alemao Berliner Zeitung, e eu vou botar alguns aqui. Ao mesmo tempo eu vou comessar a apresentar todas as minhas variassoes linguisticas. E ja que a comunicassao na scola de alemao é muito difícil, com uma gramatica e um vocabulario bem basico, o texto no original ta numa lingua que os alemaes chamam de ‘alemao de stassao de trem’, ja que se fala todo tipo de língua por ali e o alemao é bem basico. No Brasil daria mais ou menos português de índio. Mas a ortografia é em brasilês, fase H…
Meu gata diz eu fica muito case, screv livro, dia e noit computador, tem que sair – porquê nao da aula alemao pra refugiado? Ta bom, entao eu vai ensinar alemao pra organizassao caritativa em centro refugiado, pelo menos um pouco útil. Mas ants comessar aula tem churrascada de refugiado, eu spera que quando comessar aula ainda tem refugiado. Mes depois recebe 2 lista presensa 1 lista ausência – mas normalment uma lista presensa ja ve quem ausência, ou nao? Nao interessa, fato é mim compart aula com menina lest europeu. Ela ouviu, nosso curso só mulher.
Organizassao diz 3 matrícula. 3 aluno, 2 professor, pouco aluno pra tanto professor, né? Num ta cheio refugiado Alemanha querendo aprender alemao? Talvez fez anúncio em alemao e ninguem entendeu? Num centro refugiado zelador faz acim: 3 folha com regra da casa em alemao superburocratico, mecanico Eritreia – um mes Alemanha – dev ler e por favor acinar.
Ants chef organizassao dizer eu tem que ensinar por livro didatico. Mas daí precisa livro didatico, né? Ah, tem que buscar livro escritório. Eu ouve dizer tem projetor, mas ond projetor? Ah, projetor ainda tem que organizar, tem problema seguransa – mas brev problema resolvido. Eu chega curso, só 4 aluno. Eu quer perguntar pra mulher de organizassao por causa matrícula – alguns tem matrícula, outros nada, mas em formulario palavra aleman como ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’, significa mais ou menos ‘situassao legal do estrangeiro’ – tem que fazer tudo isso? – se tiver que fazer durant aula, vai passar o dia inteiro preenchendo formulário de aluno. Mas mulher da organizassao ta em reuniao. Eu comessa: meu nome é Zé do Rock, como teu nome? Eu vem de Brasil, você vem de ond? Cual o seu trabalho? Vem mais dois aluno. Eu faz pronome: eu bonito, você feio. Eu faz palavra cortesia: bom dia, boa tarde, oi, olá, oba, obrigado, beleza, por favor, por favor eu nao tem dinheiro! Vem mais aluno. Eu faz número. Vem mais dois aluno. Tudo de novo: meu nome Zé, teu nome como? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, chamo Turimi, porquê 4 Ali na clace é Ali demais. Vem de ond? Siria, Siria, mas tamem outros país árabe e africano. Tamem chinês – como acim, chinês? China nao é democracia? E nao tem só mulher no curso, tem mais omem que mulher. Trabalho? Tem tudo: mecânico, contador, tecnico, caminhoneiro. E você, Zayid? Advogado Síria. E você, Zabar? Policial em Iraque? Chiii, entao spera pouquinho, eu tem que ir banheiro, eu sai que nem fugindo. Zayid diz, “Nao tem problema: ele policial, eu advogado!”
Vem mais 3 refugiado. Como chama, de ond vem, mais uma vez e mais uma vez, ai ai ai. Faz muita mímica, mas de vez em cuando difícil: como vai fazer mímica pra palavra ‘como’? Ou palavra ‘poder’? Daí melhor tentar traduzir pra inglês francês italiano árabe somaliano chinês. Infelizment meu chinês nao é muito bom, somaliano pior. Sírios em geral fala inglês, mais ou menos, mas alguns alunos nada de nada, só própria língua. Eu olha google tradutor, digo pra chinesa: huòzhe. Chinesa ri. Eu mostro palavra pra ela, ela diz, aaaahhh! Huòzhe! Foi que eu falei! Fim de aula, mais que uma dúzia alunos. Daí vem mulher do scritório e quer saber quem pagou. Alguns talvez nao pagou, outros nao entendeu – ainda nao tiveram verbo ‘pagar’. E eu? Preenchi uma lista – outras 2 ou 3 tamem? Nao, vai vir lista nova. Organizassao caridad e governo cidad e governo país e governo centro refugiados, cada um com regra própria, tem que coordenar, mas difícil arrumar prateleira cuando tem inundassao – de gent. Important é que refugiado perceb que em Alemanha tudo perfeito, tem que adaptar!

WD – LEKTION H – FLÜCHTLINGE 1

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DEUTSCHER PERFEKTIONISMUS

Das etymologische und das denungs-H verschwinden, ausser nach einem vokal und vor einem E: Der apatische artritis-geplagte dib sasz am elektrischen stul und hatte mühe, seine diarrö im zaum zu halten.

Normal is die serie über länder, aber manchmal kommen andre temen dazu. Momentan unterrichte ich flüchtlingen deutsch, und darüber schreib ich oft für die Berliner Zeitung. So werd ich demnäxt einige diser artikel hir bringen. Am anfang war die verständigung ser schwer, und es ging nur mit banhofdeutsch. Und so is hir die grammatik, wärend die ortografie wunschdeutsch is.

Meine Shazza sag, ich zuvil in mein büro, tag und nacht computer, soll raus – warum nix unterrichte fluchtlinge deutsch? Na gut, ge unterrichte deutsch für hilforganisation in lager fir asylante, wenigstens mache was nutzlich. Aber vor unterricht gibts fluchtlings-grillfest. Hoffentlich noch genugend fluchtlinge danach, zum lerne deutsch. Monat später krigen 2 anwesenheitliste plus 1 abwesenheitliste – aber normal in anwesenheitliste kann sen wer abwesend? Egal, teile kurs mit lererin von Osteuropa – nein, nix lererin sondern kursleiterin. In andre sprach teacher and student, professeur et etudiant, in deutsch kursleiter/innen und kursteilnehmer_innen und Unnen und andre geschlechter. Kursleiterin von Osteuropa hat gehört, nur fraun in kurs.

Hilforganisation sagen 3 anmeldung. 3 kursteilnemer 2 lerer, das is wenig teilnemer für so vil lerer. Villeicht ankündigung nur in deutsch und nimand verstee? In ein asylantenheim hausmeister so mache: 3 seiten hausvorschriften in beste beamtedeutsch, eritreische mechaniker – ein monat hir – soll lesen und unterschreiben bitte.

Vorher ich gehört, muss leren nach lerwerk. Aber dann brauchen lerwerk! OK, kann holen lerwerk in büro. Ah, haben gehört gibts beamer, wo beamer? Beamer muss noch organisiren, auch problem sicherheit – aber bald. Gen kurs, fang an 4 teilnemer. Wolle frage betreuerin wegen anmeldung – manche haben anmeldung, manche nix, aber formular wörte wie ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’ – muss allu mache? – wenn wärend unterricht, dann heute unterricht nur anmeldung ausfülle. Aber betreuerin in sitzung. Anfangen: Ich heisse Zé do Rock, wie heisst du? Wo kommst du her? Was machst du arbeit? Kommen noch zwei teilnemer. Mache pronomen: ich bin schön, du bist hässlich. Mache begrüssungfloskel. Guten morgen, moin moin, hallo, danke, bitte bitte ich habe kein geld! Komme noch teilnemer. Mache zalen. Komme noch 2 teilnemer. Ich heisse Zé, wie heiss du? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, nenne Turimi, weil 4 Ali in klasse zuvil Ali. Wo komme her? Syria, Syria, aber auch andre arabische und afrikanische land. Chinese auch – warum komme chinese, China nicht blühend demokratie? Doch nich nur frau in kurs, vil mer mann, oft dunkle gestalten. Arbeit? Alles meglich: mechaniker, buchhalter, techniker, brummifahrer. Und du, Zayid? Anwalt in Syrien. Und du, Zabar? Polizist in Irak? Uh! Bitte, warten, ich ge toilette, ich schleiche zu tür, will abhaun, Zayid sag: “Kein problem, er polizist, ich anwalt!”

Komme noch 3 teilnemer. Wie heisse, wo komme her, nochmal und nochmal, ai ai ai! Make vil mimik, aber manchmal schwer: wie wolle make mimik für wort ‘kann’? Oder wort ‘wie’? Da liber englisch französisch italienisch arabisch somalisch oder chinesisch. Leider mein chinesisch nix so gut, somalisch noch schlechter. Syrer meist englisch, meiste sprech noch ein sprache so-so, aber manche teilnehmer nix nix, nur eigene sprache. Ich schau google übersetzer, sag für chinesin: huòzhe. Chinesin lach. Zeigen wörterbuch, chinesin les, aaaahhh! Huòzhe! Hab ich doch gesagt. Ende von unterricht, über dutzend leute. Dann komme betreuerin und will wisse wer gezalt. Manche villeicht nix zal, manche villeicht nix verstee – verb “zalen” noch nich gehabt. Und ich? Ich füll nur ein liste – muss andre 2 oder 3 auch? Nein, krigen sowieso neue. Hilforganisation und stadtregirung und landregirung und heimleitung, da ein regel, da andre, muss koordinire, aber schwer regal räumen wenn grad überschwemmung – von menschen. Wichtig is asylant merk, in Deutschland alles perfekt, muss anpasse!

HS – LESSON D/E – REFUGEES 1

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GERMAN PERFECTIONISM

 

Thare isnt much to do with D, it just disappears in the word ‘sandwich’. But many things happen with the letter E. Silent E’s without a function ar droppd: ar, hav, hartless. Quite a few E’s could be seen as silent, but also as being pronounced as a shwa, the obscure vowel as the E in ‘vowel’. In these cases they remain in the word, exept befor R when it makes a consonant duplication unnecessary: genral, seprate, difrent insted of genneral, sepparate, different.

The rule for stressd short vowels is: they must be followd by 2 or mor consonants, and if this is not the case, we double it, exept befor the endings -ic, -ity and -ogy. Example: The fettid flattulence was a calamity for the lunatic iddiot. Consonant duplication has almost only that function, and if it doesnt fulfill that function it is simplified: Sometimes the rifraf gets an anoying diarea and atacks the Hel’s Angels.

The rule for stressd long vowels: long vowels ar followd by one consonant and a vowel, and if thare is no long vowel, we insert the magic E, as in ‘late, bite, cute’. The magic-E is a bizarr way to show the length of a vowel, seprated by a consonant, but it is the usual way english does it, and thats the genral way to do it in the House Stile: wate, mite, bote, fule. The ending -le/ly is considderd as a single vowel, which means that we double after a short vowel: We struggle and we tussle for a giggling future.

The long E is not made with magic-E, it is made with EE: The theef had a feer of getting diabeetis, tharefor he had a pane in the reer.

Short E is spelld with E. But words like ‘any’ and ‘many’ hav to wait for the letter N, then we can spell ‘enny’ and ‘menny’. We hav to wait with thees rules in many cases, for example to spell ‘wate’ for ‘wait’ and ‘weight’ we hav to wait for the letter I, thare we can drop the I.

Altogether: when we drop a letter, the most likely way to pronounce the resulting word has to be the way the word is pronounced. If two words with the same pronunciation ar spelld the same way, it is not a problem, but a word cant be changed if the new form is alreddy occupied by another word with a different pronunciation, so we cant spell ‘own’ as ‘one’, becaus that has a different pronunciation and thare is no W-rule in HS to change ‘one’ to ‘wun’ (or ‘won’).

Normally this is a seeries about countries, but sometimes i talk about other subjects. At the moment i giv german lessons for refugees, and i write about it for the german newspaper Berliner Zeitung. So i’ll post some of thees articles heer. At the beginning the communication with the students was quite difficult, and we wer only able to talk to eech other in a “train station german”, as germans call it: very basic, with no grammar. In english you’d say BSE, bad simple english. In this case very bad and very simple. But the spelling is HS.

 

My Shazza – liv together many yeers – say me too long too much front computer my little office, this is cocoon, me should go out – why dont teech german to refugees? Thare is many! OK, OK, then me teech german for big charity in refugee center, at leest do something useful. But befor beginning classes we hav refugee barbecue party. Hopefuly thare is enough refugee left to teech when class beginn. Month later get 2 presence list plus 1 absence list – but usually me can see if somebody absent in presence list also? Anyway me share class with teecher from Eest Europe. She say she heer that thare is only women in class, lets see.

Charity office say thare is 3 inmatriculation. 3 student, 2 teecher, too little student for so many teecher. Maybe announcement in german and nobody understand? In one refugee center caretaker did so: 3 page house rules in deepest burocratic german, eritrean mechanician – one month heer – should reed and sign plees.

Before course i herd i must teech by school book. But then i need schoolbook! OK, i can get schoolbook in office. Ah, i herd thare is beemer, ware beemer? Still must organize beemer, also problem security – but soon. I go course, start 4 student. Want to ask office woman becaus registration – some hav registration, others nothing, and in form german bureaucratic words like ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’, this is leegal status of foreigner – must do all this? If must do, must fill forms all day insted german class. But office woman in meeting. I begin: My name Zé do Rock, what your name? I come from Brazil, you come from ware? What is your job in your country? Mor 2 student come. Make pronoun: me butiful, you ugly. Make greeting and polite forms: good morning, good afternoon, hi, hello, how you do, thank you, plees, plees i hav no money! Mor student come. I make numbers. Come mor 2 student. All agen: My name Zé, what your name? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, call you Turimi – 4 Ali in class too many Ali. Ware you come from? Syria, Syria, but also other arab and african countries. Also chinese – why come chinese, is China not wonderful democracy? And not only women in course, actually mor men than women. Profession? You name it: mechanic, acountant, technician, truk driver. And you, Zayid? Lawyer in Syria. And you, Zabar? Poleeceman in Iraq? Oh! Plees wait, i go toilet! And i go to door as if fleeing. Zayid say: “No problem! He poleeceman, me lawyer!” 

3 mor student come. What is name, ware come from, one mor time and one mor time, ai ai ai! Make lot gesticulation, but sometimes difficult: how can make gesture for word ‘how’? Or word ‘can’? Then prefer say in english french italian arabic somalian chinese. Unfortunatly my chinese not so good, somalian eeven worse. Syrians mostly speek bit english, but some student speek nothing exept own language. Me look dictionary and say to chinese girl: huòzhe. Girl laugh. I show word to her, she say: aaahh, huòzhe! But that was what i sed! End of class, over dozen peeple. Then come woman from office and want know who payd. Some maybe payd not, others maybe dont understand – we still had not verb ‘pay’. And me? I filld one list – must fill other 2 also? No no, i will get new list. Charity own rules, building administration other rules, city administration other rules, country administration other rules, still hav to coordinate, but difficult cleering shelf when flood – of peeple. Important is that refugees understand that evrything perfect in Germany, must adapt!

EU – LEÇON D – REFUGIES 1

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PERFECCIONISMO ALEMAN

 

Brazilyalılar dikkat etmelisiniz: europanoca olarak, DI /di/ ancak /dZi/ telaffuz edilmez – TÜR2 – brazilians should take care: in europano, DI is pronounced /di/, not /dZi/. Os alemaes e os eslavos devem tentar pronunciar o D final como D, e no como T. Das englishe TH wird im europano mit D geschrieben, aussa wenn das wort vom griechian commt, dann simpel mit T: Teatre teories. ‘The’ remains ‘the’ for the moment, because dis is no europano word: the article in europan is, as we know, ‘la’ – or ‘el’ before vocals – but for dat we have to wait for the letter L. Ah, oui, et la D muet du français disaparait. Y el T aleman en palabras germanicas cambia al D, cuando la palabra en las otras lenguas germanicas tiene D.

Basicamente esta serie es sobre la países, mas a veces es tambien sobre otros temas. Şimdi ben mültecilere alman dersleri veriyorum ve ben alman gazetesi Berliner Zeitung bu konuda bir dizi makale yazdı – TÜR3 – Now i’m giving german lessons to refugees, and i wrote a series of articles about it for the german newspaper Berliner Zeitung. Eu va postar alguns deles aqui.

Maine Shazza sagt, ich sitz zu oft in mainen büro, dag und nacht am computer, ich sollte raus – how about giving refugees german classes? OK, je vais enseigner alleman aux refugiés pour une organisacion caritative, comme ça je suis au moins un peu utile pour la monde. Mas antes de comenzar, yo estoy invitado pra una parrillada de la refugiados, yo solo espero que resten algunos refugiados pra la cuales yo pued enseñar aleman. Через місяць, я отримую 2 списки присутність, i оdин список віdсутність – UKR1 – One month later i get 2 presence lists and one absence list – mas é necessario mesmo uma lista de absência, se a lista de presença ja diz quem est absente? Egal, ich taile den curs mit a lehra von Osteuropa. She herd dat dere are only women in the course.

La bureau de la charitee dit quil ay 3 matriculacions. 3 estudiantes y 2 profesores, son pocos estudiantes pra tantos profesores. Може bути, bуло оголошено тільки що зроbив на німецькому, і ніхто не розумів? – UKR2 – Maybe the announcement was just made in german and nobody understood? Num centro de refugiados o zelador fez assim: 3 saiten hausregeln im besten funccionars-deutsh, eritreishe mechaniker – ain monat hier – sall lesen und undaschraiben bitte.

Before the course i herd i’m supposed to teach by the schoola book. Oui, mais dans ce cas il faut avoir la livre! OK, puedo buscarlo en la oficin. Ах, і я чув, що у них є проектор, dе знахоdиться проектор? – UKR3 – Ah, and I have heard that they have a beamer, where is the beamer? Ah, projector ainda tem que organizar, tem problema de segurans – mas em brev o problema será resolvido. Ich gehe in den curs, starte mit 4 studenten. I want to ask the office woman abaut the registration – quelques étudiants ont un registre, des autres ne lont pas, mais dans la formulaire il y a des mots bureaucratiques allemans comme ‘Aufenthaltsstatus’ (el estado legal del estrangero) – mae’n rhaid i mi wneud hyn i gyd? – WAL – do I have to do all this? Se eu tiver que fazer isso durante a classe, eu va passar o dia inteiro preenchendo formulario de estudante.

Aba betreuer in sitzung. I start: mon nom est Zé do Rock, comment est ton nom? De donde vienes? Што ваша прафесія? – BEL – What is your profession? Vem mais dois estudantes. Ich mache pronomen: i’m beutiful, you’re ugly. Je fais la salutacions. Buenos dias, buenas tardes, hola, aló, gracias, por favor, por favor yo no tengo dinero! Повече стуdенти иdват – BUL – More students come. Eu fasso os números. Commen noh 2 studenten. My name is Zé, what is your name? Ali Al-Turimi? OK, je tappele Turimi, 4 Ali dans la classe sont trop Alis. De donde vienen? Sýrie, Sýrie, ale i dalších arabských a afrických zemí – CZE – Syria, Syria, but also other arab and african countries. Chinês também – wieso commen auch chinesen, is China nicht a blühende democratie? And dere arent only women in the course, actually men are the majority. La travail? Todo posible: mecànics, comptables, tècnics, conductors de camions – CAT – mechanicians, accountants, technicians, truck drivers. E tu, Zayid? Advocat in Syria. And you, Zabar? Policier en Irak? Uh! Por favor, esper un momento, yo vad al baño. Jeg løber hen til døren, som om jeg var på flugt, Zayid siger: DAN – I run to the door as if I was fleeing, Zayid says: “No ha problem, ele é policial, eu sou advogado!”
Da commen noh 3 studenten. What is your name, where do you come from, again and again, ai ai ai! Je gesticule beaucoup, mais parfois cest difficile: como puedo hacer el gesto pra la palabra ‘como’? Või sõna “võib”? – EES – Or the word ‘can’? Daí eu prefiro explicar em inglês, francês, italiano, arabe, somaliano ou chinês. Laider is main chinesish nicht so gud, main somalish is noh plus mau. The syrians speak some english, but some students dont speak a single word in other languages than their own. Je vois dans la google traducteur, et dit a la chinoise: huòzhe. La china se ríe. Thaispeáint mé an focal san fhoclóir, a deir an cailín Sínis, aaaaahhh! EIR – I show the word in the dictionary, the chinese girl says, aaaahhh! Huòzhe! Foi o que eu disse! Ende der classe, da sin nu über a dutzen leute. Den the woman from the office comes and asks who has pai the fee. Quelques etudiants nont pas payé, peut-être, peut-être des autres nont pas compri – no tuvimos todavía el verbo ‘pagar’. Kaj mi? – ESP – And I? Eu preenchi só uma lista – muss ich die anderen 2 auch ausfüllen? No, i will get a new one anyway. La charité a ses propres règlas, ladministracion du batiment des autres règlas, ladministracion de la cité des autres règlas, ladministracion du pays des autres règlas. Mas es difícil organizar la estantería cuando hay una inundación – de gente. Garrantzitsuena da errefuxiatuek egiten ulertu in Alemania dena da perfektu dela, egokitu behar dute! – EUS – The important thing is that the refugees understand that in Germany everything is perfect, they have to adapt!

BR – LIÇAO I – REFUGIADOS 2

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TOALET, DINHERO I MERDA

O E na ultima – ou única – sílaba qui é pronunciado com /i/ agora é scrito com I, a nao ser qui nao screvendo letra nenhuma a pronúncia continua a mesma: O assaltant repugnant tomou tanta aguardent ki feiz a burrici di cometer um crimi. Na primera sílaba o E só é substituído pelo I nos prefixos EM-, EN- i DES-: O cafajest com a calça incardida causou um disastri. I’s qui nao sao pronunciados disaparecim: O delincuent falou tanta baxaria qui foi parar na cadera eletrica.

Im outros casos o E qui é pronunciado como /i/ nao é substituído pelo I, porquê as diferensas regionais sao muito grands. ‘Fedido’ muitas vezis é pronunciado ‘fididu’, mais nem sempri, i depois o verbo é ‘feder’, i essa palavra nunca é pronunciada ‘fider’.

Segundo dia di curso: alguns studant falta, mais tem dobro di studant novo, no total cuasi duas duzia, tem qui buscar mais mesa i cadera. Precisa caneta di feltro pra cuadro negro, quer dizer cuadro branco, i porta pra cuartinho com coisa pra screver ta fechado. Busca alguem no scritorio qui tem chav. I daí caneta di feltro cor di rosa muito fraca, i ecis refugiado acho qui tamem nao inxerga bem nao. Verd tamem fraquinho. No fim pega azul – bom essa caneta, bem fort. Mais depois quer apagar i nao pod, caneta merda. Tem qui screver lista di presensa, nao acha caneta (normal). Normalment eu sempri caneta bolso da jaqueta, 3 ou 4 na moxila, oj nada. Studant tem qui imprestar caneta, porquê eu, professor, nao tem caneta. Sempri mostrar pra studant qui na Alemanha tudo eficient! Mais eu brasilero. Vem mais studant refugiado – até indiano. India tamem ditadura? Vem mulher bonita Kosovo. Ingleis nada, alemao nada, só albaneis. Problema né, qui meu albaneis meio ruinzinho. Tem qui comessar tudo di novo. É, maior problema com lingua tem justament na Europa. Mais Europa do Lest. Si bem qui muito franceis só sab franceis, muito spanhol só spanhol. Pra mim nao é problema, mais pra ingleis ou russo é problema.

Tem qui explicar pronome im alemao: “sie” (pronunciado zi) significa ‘ela’, tamem significa ‘eles’ i tamem significa ‘o Senhor’ ou ‘a Senhora’ – alemao muito exato, as vez acim as vez assado. Cuando pessoa é disconhecida ou important i usa gravata nao diz ‘du’ (você) i sim ‘Sie’. Pra árab nao é problema, conheci sistema. Mais chineis por exemplo nao intend nada, sistema pronomi super basico, nao tem nem diferensa entri ‘eli’ i ‘ela’. Japoneis é contrário: nao tem diferensa entri ‘você’ i ‘o Senhor’, mais tem 6 palavra pra ‘eu’, dependendo da importância do pessoa com quem fala, i cuanto tem qui si curvar. Japoneis maluco. Antigament mais maluco, tinha 30 palavra pra ‘eu’, dependendo cuanto si curva pra cumprimentar. Si você lixero, tem qui curvar até o chao.

Pausa pra respirar ar puro (Marlboro), Mohammad diz pra kosovara eli viu ela im reuniao pra refugiado i outras calamidads. Kosovara diz qui tava la mas nao viu eli. Eu ixplico: Mohamad, você lembra essa mulher porquê ela bonita, ela nao lembra você porquê você feio. Tanakara.

Vem mais dois afegao. Im todo caso studant ja sab as palavra mais important: toalet (toilette), dinhero (geld) i merda (scheisse, pronunciado “chaisse”)! Muito important no Alemanha – tem qui integrar Alemanha, aprend xingar como alemao! Alem disso: strangero nao dev bater mulher. Os 15% dos alemao qui bate mulher nao sao advertido – talvez só strangero nao pod bater mulher, cidadao alemao pod? I elis tem qui aprender ser onesto! Muito strangero admira futbol alemao, daí ex-president do FC Bayern München podia fazer vidio fazendo propaganda pra onestidad, agora qui eli ja saiu do prisao por bom comportamento, i afinal evasao di imposto nao é tao terrivel né.

Primero ensina palavra aleman simplis, como p. ex. ‘spritzt’ (ce spirra), ou ‘sprachst’ (ce falou), sílaba com só 8 letra, mais tard cuando bem treinado vem palavra como ‘schleichst’ (ce sai de fininho) ou ‘schmauchst’ (ce fuma com prazer), silaba com 10 letra. Tambem palavra como ‘sechstschnellster’, com 8 consoant im seguida, i na última semana di curso vem palavra como ‘Grundstücksverkersgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’, qui quer dizer mais ou menos ‘Regulamentassao da Transmissao di Competências das Licensas no Comércio di Terrenos’.

Eu ensino dia da semana. Pergunta pra Yousouf o que eli vai fazer na segunda feira. Eli diz: “Bater strangero.” Ja aprendeu sistema Alemanha!

Fim di aula, fora fuma cigarro com outros studant. Pergunta mulher Kosovo cual é trabalho. Trabalho nada! Agora nao, claro (exilado politico nao pod trabalhar até ser reconhecido como exilado) mas ants – no Kosovo? Tamem trabalho nada. Problema no país? É, sempri uma merda – ja aprendeu palavra. Muito problema, ela diz – mas nao tem problema, avanti popolo!

 

HS – LESSON F – REFUGEES 2

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TOILET, MONEY AND SHIT

The sound /f/ is spelld with F: The schizofrenic filosofer lafd so loud, he provoked a catastrofe. And of course useless F’s disappeer.

Second day with german course: some student come not, but many new ones, altogether almost two dozen, hav to get mor chair and table. Need felt pen for blak bord that is wite, but door for compartment with writing stuf closed. Hav to find someone in office with kee. And then: pink pen very week, and probbably reffugees bad eyes. Green pen also week. Eventually take blu, very good very strong, but later want to deleet and cant deleet. Then hav to write presence list but hav no pen, normal pen. Normally always hav 1 pen in jacket, 3 or 4 pen in rucksak, today nothing, one student lend his pen, becaus me, teecher, hav no pen. Hav to show to foreigners in Germany evrything perfect! But OK, me brazilian. New students come – also indians. India also dictatorship? Come butiful woman from Kosovo. English nothing, german nothing, only albanian – problem, becaus my albanian rather no good. Must start from beginning. Yeah, worst language problems i hav in Europe, mostly Eest Europe. OK, actually also many french speek nothing only french, in Spain many spanish speek nothing only spanish. For me no problem, but for english or german or russian or greek offen problem.

Must explain pronoun: ‘sie’ (pronounced ‘zee’) meen ‘she’, but meen also ‘they’, and meen ‘you’ – german very exact, sometimes this sometimes that. If person unknoen or very important with suit and ti, dont use ‘du’ (you, thou), use also ‘Sie’, respectful ‘you’. Thus 3 pronoun meenings for the word ‘sie’. OK, this is no problem for arab, they know system, but for english speekers or for chinese big problem. Chinese sistem super basic, dont hav eeven difrence between ‘he’ and ‘she’. By way, japanese opposit: dont know 2 words for ‘you’, but 6 words for ‘I’, depending importance of other person and how much must bend down. Japanese nuts. In old times mor nuts, they had 30 word for ‘I’, depending how much bend down. If you refuse collector, hav to bend down till floor.

Brake for fresh air (Marlboro), Mohammad say to Kosovo woman he saw she in event X for reffugees and other calamities. Kosovo woman say she was thare but never seen him. I explain: Mohammad, you remember this woman becaus she butiful, she remember not you becaus you ugly. Very simple.

Come two new afghanis. Anyway students know alreddy important words: toilet, money and shit! Important to call names, in German hav to integrate, so hav to lern how to call names in german. Besides: foreigner shouldnt beet wife. Politicians warn foreigners, not 15% of german men who beet wife – maybe only foreigner should not beet woman, beeting wife only a rite of german man? And foreigner hav to lern honesty! Many foreigner like german soccer, so maybe big boss of FC Bayern, Hoeness, could tell foreigner in TV jingle that must be onest – now he not in prison anymor, for good behavior (after hiding all those millions in Switzerland), so he must hav time.

In beginning, only eesy german word, like ‘spritzt’ (you splash, cf. ‘thou splashest’) or ‘sprachst’ (you spoke, thou spokest), syllables with 8 letter, later wen they better traind also word like ‘schleichst’ (you sneek) or ‘schmauchst’ (you smoke with plesure, thou smokest), syllables with 10 letter. Also word like ‘sechstschnellster’ (the 6th fastest), with 8 consonant in row, and in last course week full program with words like ‘Grundstücksverkersgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’, which means mor or less Regulation for the Transmission of Competences in the Estate Trade Licences.

I teech week days, then i ask Yousouf what he will do monday. He say: “Beeting foreigners.” Lernd alreddy system Germany!

End of class, outside take fresh air (Marlboro) with some students. Ask woman from Kosovo what is job. No job. OK, now no job, is forbidden for not yet recognized reffugees – but erlier, in Kosovo? No job. Problems in your country? Yeah, always shit – already lernd word (german ‘scheisse’). Many problem, she say – but no problem, avanti popolo!

WD – LEKTION I – FLÜCHTLINGE 2

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TOALETTE, GELD UND SCHEISSE

 

Unbetonte Y’s vom griechischen oder vom englischen, die nich neben einem vokal im gleichen wort sten, können durch I ersetzt werden: Der psichopat fülte sich auf der parti der psichologen nich häppi.

Fremdwörter, deren aussprache man im deutschen nich richtig widergeben kann, können mit buchstaben geschriben werden, die die deutschen normalerweise mit deutschen lauten aussprechen, aber man kann sie auch so lassen wie sie sind. Das englishe kurze A wie in happy (im britischen englisch ein laut zwischen A und E), das kurze U wie in cutter (man könnte es ein geschlossenes A nennen), das /3/-laut in den englischen wörtern ‘verb’, ‘sir’, ‘world’, kann man im deutschen nich schreiben, und die meisten deutschen, wie die meisten nichtmuttersprachler, können sie auch nich aussprechen. Aber man spricht sie im deutschen mit einem kurzen E (heppi für happy), einem kurzen A (katta für cutter) und einem Ö (vörb für verb), und man kann es mit Ä, A und Ö schreiben, aber ich tu es nich, also lass ich doch die englische schreibung ‘happy’.

Heute is der text immer noch im banhofdeutsch-sisteem – die kursteilnemerinnen, kursteilnemerInnen/unnen und schlichte kursteilnemer sprechen immer noch kein (genderisirtes) amtsdeutsch. Aber wir krigen sie schon hin!

Zweite kurstag: par kursteilnemer fel, dafir doppelt sovil neue, fast zwei dutzend in total, muss mer tisch und stul hole. Brauche stift für weisse tafel, tür für schreibware zu. Muss suche jemand der schlissel. Dann: rosa stift schwach, und warscheinlich ausländer auch schlechte augen. Grün auch schwach. Am ende neme blau – ser stark, kann nix lösch, scheisse. Muss anwesenheitliste schreiben, hab kein kulli. Normal 1 kulli jacketasch, 3 oder 4 in rucksäckle, nu nix und nix, kursteilnemerin/on und -an muss lei mi kulli weil ich, lerer, kein kulli. Immer mit exempel von deutsch efizienz voran! Aber ich brasilianer. Komme mer neue teilnemer – auch inder. Indien auch diktatur? Komme schene frau von Kosovo. Englisch nix, deutsch nix, nur albanisch – probleem, weil mein albanisch mau mau. Muss alles neu anfang. Ja, schlimmste sprachschwirigkeiten erlebe man Europa. Meist in ost. Wobei, vil franzos kannen nur französisch, vil spanier kann nur spanisch. Für mi kein probleem, für vile andre schon probleem.

Muss erklären pronomen: ‘sie’ is frau, ‘sie’ is die andre menschen, ‘Sie’ is du – deutsch ser exakt, mal so mal so. Bei unbekannte und ganz wichtige leute mit anzug und krawatte nix ‘du’ sondern ‘Sie’. Gut, fir araber unterschid kein probleem, kennen auch sisteem. Aber chinese kenn so ding nich, sein pronomesisteem superbasic, nich mal unterschid zwischen ‘er’ und ‘sie’. Japanisch ibrigens kein unterschid zwischen ‘du’ und ‘Sie’, dafür 6 pronom für ‘ich’ je nachdem wievil bücken, japanisch gaga. Friher noch mer gaga, hatte 30 wort für ‘ich’, je nach dem wie tif bicken. Wenn du straszekerer, du muss bicken bis boden.

Pause fir frisch luft (Marlboro), Mohammad sagen zu kosovara, er sie geseen in veranstaltung X fir ausländer und andre kalamitäte. Kosovara sag, ja sie auch in veranstaltung, aber ihn nie geseen. Ich erklär: Mohamad, du erinner dis frau weil sie schön. Sie erinner nich du weil du hässli. Klare sake.

Komme zwei neu afghane. Jedenfall teilnemerInnen/unnen_ennen schon wisse wichtig worte: toalette, geld, und scheisse!’. Wichtig zu schimpf – in Deutschland muss integrire, und schimpfe wie deutsche muss auch sofort lern! Ganz wichtig is satz “Das lass ich mir nicht biten!”. Ausserdeem: ausländer darf nich frau schlage. Die 15% von deutsche männ die frau schlag werd nich gewarnt – villeicht nur ausländer darf nich schlage frau, dise birgerrecht nur für deutsche mann reservirt? Und ausländer muss lern erlichkeit! Vil ausländer megen deutsche fussball, villeicht kann grosze chef von FC Bayern, Hoeness, ein video youtube make mit predigu fir erlichkeit bei ausländer?

Anfang leren nur kurze leichte wört, wie z.b. ‘du spritzst‘, oder ‘du sprachst‘, silbe mit nur 8 buchstabe, später wenn sie gut trainirt dann auch wörte wie ‘du schleichst’ und ‘du schmauchst’, silbe mit 10 buchstabe. Auch wörte wie ‘sechstschnellster’, mit 8 konsonant hintarananda, und in letzte kurswoche volle ladung mit worte wie ‘Grundstücksverkersgenemigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’.

Wir mache wochetage, ich frag Yousouf was er montag abend macht. Er antwortet: “Schlagen ausländer”. Der schon gelernt wie sistem in Deutschland!

Ende von klasse, draussen rauche zigarette mit kursteilnemerInnen_onnen u.ä. Frage kosovo-frau wat maken arbeit? Nix arbeit. Nu nix, klar – aber friher, in Kosovo? Auch nix arbeit. Probleem in dein land? Ja, immer scheisse – hat schon wort gelernt. Vil probleem, sage sie – aber kein probleem, avanti popolo!

EU – LIÇAO E – REFUGIS 2

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TOALETTE, GELD E CAK

 

The lettra E can be pronounced as a closed /e/ (as the A in ‘say’, but widaut being followd by the Y-sound) or open /E/ (as in ‘set’). Sa veut dire que la brasilians et la parlants del englis ne devraient pas le prononcer comm /i/, la fransis ne devraient pas le prononcer comme /ö/ (comme la premier E dans la mot ‘premier’). No hace diference si lo pronuncias abierto o cerrado, pra los españoles no hace diference de cualquier maner, ya que ellos solo tienen el E cerrado.

A letra E é usee como final pra case todos os verbos e adxectivos de orixe xermanic e en varios de orixe romanic – GAL – The letter E is used as ending for almost all verbs and adjectives of germanic origin, and in quite a few of romanic origin. Como outre vocais, a letra E disapare cuando no vem uma vocal na próxima palavra na mesme fras, mesme se ha tambem alguns E que sao tabu: si vershwinden nicht, zum exemple im word ‘cafe’, das ni ‘caf’ werd. In a diccionary dey would normally be shown in bold. Todos E’s que tao scrito sao pronuncee. Plural is mit -S formee, nach consonant -ES: Not alweys the wordes in the bookes sey the trud – al end on dira ‘Non alwen la vordes na bukes sei la veritee’.

La participio es formee con -ee na fin, a no ser que la próxima letra en la mesme frase comece con vocal, caso en que la participio es formee con la finale vocal del verbo + T: Έτσι, «η αγαπημeνη γυναίκα» ίνι «el amee fem”, αλλά “το αγαπημeνο αυτοκίνητο” ίνι “el amat auto” – GRE – So “the beloved woman” is “el amee fem”, but “the beloved car” is “el amat auto”.

O abstracto dos adjectivos em europan é -itee: Die nacionalitee des attachee wurde noh nicht constatee, wegen der stupiditee des comitees.

The stress is normally on the vocal befor the laste consonant, widaut considering a finale S as a finale consonant. Mais dans la mots avec -IC, el accent est avant cet -IC: matemátic, geográfico. Y algunas palabras tienen la tonica despuees del última consonant, ellas son largas e mostree con un E despuees de un E o I, o un H despuees de las otre vocales: eclah, monee, geografie, dodoh, tabuh.

Annad námskeidid deg – ISL – The seccond course day: alguns studantes tao faltando, em compensassao um montao de novos tao chegando, na total cuase duas duzias, nós tem que organize mais cadeir e mesa. Ich brauche stift für die waisse tabla, die dür für die schribware-camer is zu. I hav to finde someone in the ofice wid a key. Et puis la stylo-feutre rose est super faible, et je cre que ces refugis nont pas des yeux super bons. La verde tambien es biene debil. Al fin io prendo il blu – super buono, super forte, solo un po più tardi io scopre che non è possibil eliminarlo, che cac! – ITA1 – At the end i take blue – very good, very strong, only a bit later i find out that you can’t delete it – shit. Eu tenho que fazer a presence list, e no acha caneta (normal). Normal hab ich ainen culli in der jakentashe, 3 o 4 im ruksakle, nu is nix e wida nix, a student muss mir sainen culli laihn, wail ich, der lehrer, kainen culli ha. We must show to dese foreigners dat in Germany all is perfect! Mais je suis brasilian. Vienen mas studiantes – anch indiani – ITA2 – also indians. India tambem é dictadur? Comm auch shöne frau de Kosovo. English noding, german noding, only albanian – c’est un problem, parce que mon albanais ce nest pas super fort. Tengo que comenzar del comienzo otra vez. Si, le peggiori difficoltà linguistiche sono in Europa – ITA3 – yeah, you have the most language difficulties in Europe. Na Europa Oriental. Wobai vile franzosen cannen nur francish, vil espanier cann nur espanish. For me no problem, but for meny othres it is a mega problem.

Il faut que j’explique la pronoms: ‘sie’ /zi/ signific ‘ella’, ‘sie’ signific ‘ellos’ o ‘ellas’, significa ‘usted’ – Njemački je vrlo točna, ponekad ovo, ponekad to – JUG1 – german is very exact, sometimes this, sometimes that. Com pessoa desconhecee ou important, com terno e cravat, no se diz ‘du’ (tu) e sim ‘Sie’ (o Senhor). Gud, für araber is das kain problem, si kennen das system. But neider the anglos nor the chinese know it – la chinois ont un pronoms systema super basique, ils n’ont pas mem une difference entre ‘il’ et ‘ela’. A propósito, la japoneses no tienen 2 pronombres pra ‘tu’ y ‘usted’, en compensación 6 palabras pra ‘yo’, dependendo de cuanto se tiene que inclinar pra saludar el otre person. Japani su ludi – JUG2 – The japanese are crazy. Antigamente les ainda eram mais loucos, les tinham 30 palavras pra ‘eu’, dependendo o cuanto les tinham que se curvar. Wenn du straszakehrer warst, musstest du bis zum boden büken.

We hav a brek for fresh aer (Marlboro), Mohammad seys to the Kosovo woman dat he saw her in the event X for refugees and othre calamitees. La fema de Kosovo dit quela etait labas mais ela ne la jamais vu. Yo explico: Mohammad, atceraties šī sieviete, jo viņa ir skaista, viņa neatceras, jo Jūs esat neglīts – LAT – Mohammad, you remember this woman because she’s beautiful, she does not remember you because you’re ugly. É evident.

Da commen zwai neu afghanen. Enywey the students know now the really importante wordes: toilett, argent, et merd! Ellos tienen que se integrar en Alemania, y ahí la gente blasfema mucho! Ir ne tik, kad – LIE – And not only that: Strangero deve no bater em fem! Die 15% der deutshen manner die ihre fraun shlagen werden nicht gewarnt – meybe only foreigners shouldnt beat their wives, meybe dis is a human right reservee for german men? Et il faut que ces etrangers aprennent el honnetetee. A muchos strangeros les gusta la futbol, entonces la mega jefe de FC Bayern, Hoeness, que pasó unos tiempos en prisón por defraudación de impuestos mas salió mas temprano por buena conducta, puede hacer un video en youtube propagando la honestidad?

Kezdjük könnyen német szavakat, mint a “spritzt” (splash) vagy a “sprachst” (amiről beszélt), szótagokat csupán 8 betű, es kesőbb, amikor jól kepzett, kemenyebb szavak, mint “schleichst” (besurranó), vagy “schmauchst” (dohányzik örömmel), szótagokat 10 betű – MAG – We start with easy german words, like ‘spritzt’ (you splash) or ‘sprachst’ (you spoke), syllables with only 8 letters, and later, when they are well trained, harder words like ‘schleichst’ (you sneak) or ‘schmauchst’ (you smoke with pleasure), syllables with 10 letters. Tambem palavras como ‘sechstschnellster’ (o sexto mais rapido), com 8 consoantes em seguid, e na ultima semana do curso vem as palavras campeãs, como ‘Grundstücksverkehrsgenehmigungszuständigkeitsübertragungsverordnung’, que quer dizer mais ou menos ‘Regulamentassao da Transmissao de Competences das Licensas na Comercio de Terrenos’.

Und ich lehre wochendage. Den i ask Yousouf what he will fa mondey evening. Il dit, “Frapper etrangers.” El ya ha aprendido la sistem!

Ende der class, draussen shmauch ich a cigarette mit a par studenten. I ask the woman from Kosovo what is her job. Pas de job. Ahora no, claro – refugiados no pueden trabajar encuanto no son reconocidos como tales – mas antes, en Kosovo? Нема работа или – MAK – No job either. Problemas no teu país? Ja, ima shaisse – she lerned the word already. Baucoup problemas, ela dit – mas no hay problem, avanti popolo!

EU – LEZZJONI F – BELGJE

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LEVEMENTE SQUIZOFRENICO

Der laud /f/ werd ima mit F geschriben: Der filologie-bewante filosof filetirte das fotomodell wi a fantast.

Afta Charlemagne, the Kingdom of the Franks was divided in 3: the westan parte spoke latin/franch, the estan parte spoke someding laike german, e the part in the middle spoke dis e dat. Cette partie du milieu a devenu plus et plus etroite, pendant que la deux parties lateraux expandaient en direccion du milieu, a la fin la parties du milieu appartenaient ou a el occidentale partie, la France, ou a el orientale partie, la Sacre Empire Romain, qui aurait plus tarde la titre ‘de Nation Alleman’ adicionee. Ya que el orientale parte no era propiamente un reino, sino un conglomerado de reinos y otre tipos af unidades politicas, como principados, ciudades libres, etc, algunos “países” de la centrale zona acabaron se separando del mega Sacro Imperio Romano, y así aparecieron nuevas naciones como los Países Bajos y Suiz. Wara diversi interventi minn barra, il-Pajjiżi l-Baxxi kienu maqsuma Protestant u parti kattoliku, l-Olanda u l-Belġju – MAL – After several interventions from abroad, the Netherlands were divided into a protestant and a catholic part, the Netherlands and Belgium. Na Belgie, como tambem em algumas outre regioes centrais, pass a fronteir enter a germanic e a romanica cultur. Cain wunda dass man bai der gründung der EU die capitalen in dise pufazone installirte: Brüssel, Luxemburg – wo die oficiale sprach is francish, wo man aba zuhause ea letzebüergisch spricht, a deutshen dialect – e Strassburg, das zwar in Francreich ligt, aba lange genug deutsh war – a city wo file noh deutsh sprechen. So neida France nor Germany felt in disvantag.
Cette situacion detre a la frontier enter la deux culturas peut avoir ses vantages – comme par exemple avoir la capitale af Europa, mais ela a aussi ses desavantages: la germanique parte, Flandres, et la romanique parte, la Wallonie, ont une relacion dificil. La valones pueden tener una cultura latina, mas ellos tienen su nombre de las tribus germanicas: primero ellas llamaban solo la tribu celta de los ‘volcae’ asi, mas tarde ‘welsh’. Toen begonnen ze te roepen allemaal de kelten ‘welsh’ – degene die we niet begrijpen – NED – Then they began calling all the celts ‘welsh’ – the ones we dont understand. Assim os anglos e saxoes sairam da Alemanha, passaram pela Holanda, chegaram na Inglaterra e passaram a chamar os celtas no oeste ‘the welsh’, que em português da ‘os galeses’. Die germanen in den Nederlanden nennen die region im süden Waals, die shwizer nennen die franzosen und italiener im aigenen lande die welschen. E the germans sey kauderwelsch to a chaotic mix de languages, someding you dont hav a chance to understand.

Avant la wallons avaient la charbon, la monni et la pouvoir, la flamans etaient la paysans. En una de las pocas colonies belgas, la Congo Belga, se hablaba francés – no hab ai trazos del flamengo. Inmiddels de vlamen foeden de walen, mar je moet nit denken dat de walen zijn echt arm – NED – meanwhile the flemish feed the waloons, but you dont have to think that the waloons are really poor. Sem duvida, mesme sozinhos os valoes seriam um dos paises mais ricos do mundo. Jedenfalls gefällt es den flamishen nationalisten nicht, dass sie den süden mitfüttern müssen, e so wollen sie sich separa de Wallonie.

I was several taimes in Belgie, the first taime just cortly across the borda. On prends la bus urbaine de la cité allmand de Aachen, on passe la frontiera sans se rendre compte, mais tout de suite tout est diferent, meme sie la cité allmand de Aachen a beaucoup des Pays-Bas ou Belgique. La ciudadita de Kelmis es color de rosa y parece una ciudad de juguete. Man denker man er i a helt annen verden, men i butikkene du hører hovedsakelig ett språk: NOR – one thinks one is in a totally different world, but you hear mainly one language: alemao, ou um dialecto alemao. Das is so wail in disem land man nicht nur flamish e francisch spricht, sondan auch deutsh, special im esten. Meny belgians speak 4 languages: la majoritee parle flaman et francias, et beaucoup deux parlent aussi englis et allman. Es un buen lugar pra abrigar la capital af Europa.
W dzisiejszych czasach nikt nie myśli nic złego o Belgów, są one małe e skromny krajem, który nie byłby zaszkodzić nawet muchy, ale przez długi czas są tłumione swych afrykańskich kolonii e zrobiła prawdziwą rzeź w Kongo – POL – Nowadays nobody thinks anything bad about the belgians, they are a small and modest country that wouldnt do harm even to a fly, but for a long time they opressed their african colonies and made a real carnage in Congo. O que só mostra que existem no povos maldosos ou bondosos, e sim que cualquer país pode ser cruel, cuando é “necessario” e ele tem os meios.

 

Belgie hat wenig mit mainem land Brasilien zu tun, dorthin emmigrierten a cuantitee niederlander, aba wenige belgier. The only famous brazilian de belgian desendence was one of whom not many brazilians ar proud: cetait Joao Havelange, ex-president de la FIFA et la “pere nourricier” de Joseph Blatter, la dernier president af el organisacion, la deux bien connus pour construir un organisacion propre et correct. La papá de Joao Havelange er un belga, e pra empeorar las cosas, un armas traficant.

Inna rzecz wspólnego między Belgie e Brazylii jest INBEV, w wyniku fuzji belgijskiego Interbrew e brazylijskiej AMBEV – POL – The other thing in common between Belgium and Brazil is INBEV, the result of the fusion of the belgian Interbrew and the brazilian AMBEV. A sede da multinacional é na Belgie, mas o mega chef e a maioria dos directores sao brasiliaros. INBEV is der gröszte braueraiconzern der welt, e vor wenigen jahren shlukte er auch noh den zwaitgröszten conzern, Anhaeuser Bush, den fabricant de Budweiser. Brazil is the third biggest beer producer of the world, e brazilians ar basically beer drinkers like the belgians, but in per capita consumption the belgians drink more, altho this could change in the future: in 1965 Belgie was the second biggest beer drinker of the world, afta the czechs, but dey fell to numer 23 – acording to wikipedia, the americans ar numer 17, the australians numer 19 (they wer alredy numer 2), the english numer 28, just afta the brazilians who ar numer 27. La czechs etaient et sont encora la nummero 1. En todo caso hay en Belgie una cultura de la cerveza que yo no conozco de ningún otre país. Atunci când introduceți un magazin de ber belgianului crezi că ai entrat întro fabrică de pictur, astfel încât acestea sunt pline de culor – ROM – When you enter a belgian beer shop you think you entered a paiting factory, so colorful are they. Eles fazem cerveja de tudo e com tudo, probablemente tu necessitaria semanes ou mesme meses pra experimentar todas. Essen tun si moules et frites, also musheln e pommes. Once i askd an american friend what ‘moules’ ar, he sed dey’r muscles. Jai pensé que cest marrant sa, manger des muscles, plus tard jai decouvert que il sagissait de moules, et jai pensé que cet ami americain pourrait aprendre un peu mieux le fransais, la langue du pays ou il habite. Hasta que descobri que en inglés la palabra pra mariscos es ‘mussels’. El a spus “midii’, dar am înțeles “mușche”, care sună la fel in engles – eu nu au știut cuvânt ‘scoici’ – ROM – He had said ‘mussels’, but i understood ‘muscles’, which sounds the same – i didn’t know the word ‘mussels’.

E na fim tem mais uma coisa em comum enter belgas e brasiliros: os dois países tem muitos italinos. Brasilien hat die gröszte colonie von italinan weldweid, Belgien die zwaitgröszte colonie in Europa. One af the italins in Belgie invented even a new languag, Europanto. Cette langua na pas de reglas, pas de vocabulaire fix, on melange simplement la languas au gre de sa fantaisie. Aqui va un ejemplo de texto:

      1. TODA LA VERITHEIT OVER DE MORTE VAN DIANA


In der story des morte des Diana er esse tropo viel unclaras chosas und confusio. Porqué Diana Mercedes was zo rapido roulante?
Waar esse de autra auto mit die bodyguardias gegone? Und supra todo, waar esse el jewello dat Dodi offered aan Diana op aquello eveningo?
Mucha estrange coincidenza, cinquo dags later, tambien Zuster Theresa uit Calcutta trespasse al Creator. Somechose kloppe nicht.

Dля bельгийцев eтa bез проbлем, но не кажdый челaвек в eтом мире является bельгийским, так что зdесь иdет перевоd: RUS – For the belgians this is all no problem, but not every human being in this world is a belgian, so here goes the translation:

TOD A VERDAD SOBRE A MORTE DE DIANA

In der story üba den dod de Diana gibt es fil unclare dinge e confusion. Why Dianas Mercedes was so fast? Ou est alee el auto avec la gardes du corps? E sobretodo, dond est la joya que Dodi dió a Diana en aquella noch? И как ни странно, спустя пять dней Мать Тереза тоже поdошла к Творцу – RUS – And strange enough, five days later also Mama Teresa went over to the Creator. Essa historia est super suspect!

 

Et je connais aussi und drôle sorte de poesie. Mas hay que saber que la ciudad belga de Waterloo no se pronuncia como en inglés woterlu y si waterlou. И fранцузский l’eau означает воdу и произносится как bританский английский “law” RUS – And that french l’eau meens water and is pronounced like british english ‘law’.
“De Hollander zegt water,
de Fransman noemt het l’eau,
een Belg die beide talen kent,
die spreekt van Waterloo

E aqui a tradussao:

 

Der hollander sagt water,

the franchman calls it l’eau,

la belges, qui connaissent la deux languas,

ellos hablan de Waterloo…

 

HS – LESSON G/H – BELGIE

0

HS – LESSON G/H – BELGIE

SLITELY SCHIZOFRENIC

Useless G’s and H’s disappeer: the nauty guy who sined the paper had a maline diarrea. And thare will be some influence from french and dutch (flamish), since we’r talking about Belgium.

After Charlemagne, the Kingdom of the Franks was divided in 3: the western part spoke latin/franch, the eestern part spoke something like german, and the part inbetween spoke this and that. This buffer zone in the middle became narrower and narrower, wile the latral parts expanded to the middle, until eventually the middle part belongd either to the western part – France – or to the eestern part – the Holy Roman Empire, wich later got the name “of German Nation” added to it. Since the eestern part wasnt a proper kingdom but à conglomerat of kingdoms and other types of political entities – rather something like the EU – some of the parts in the buffer zone ended up separating from the Holy Roman Empire, and so countries like the Netherlands and Switzerland wer born. After sevral interventions from abroad, the Netherlands wer divided into a protestant and a catholic part, the Netherlands and Belgium. In Belgium, as in sevral countries in the buffer zone between France and Germany, lies the border between the germanic and the romanic culture. So it is no surprise that the EU chose their capitals in this buffer zone: Brussels, Luxembourg – waare the oficial languages ar franch, german and letzebuergisch, a sort of german dialect with an own writing – and Strassbourg, wich lies in France but it is a city that belongd to Germany for a lang time, and a plaace waare ye still find many german speekers. So neither France nor Germany felt in disadvantage.

Certainly it has its advantages for Belgium to be at dis border – for instance hosting de european capital – but it has its disadvantages, too: de germanic part, Flanders, and de romanic part, Wallonia, dont hab a specially friendly relationship. Maybe the walloons hav a romanic culture, but they hav thare name from the germanic tribes in Germany: first only the keltic tribe of the volcae further south spoke ‘welsh’ and wer calld like that, then the germanic tribes began calling all keltic tribes ‘welsh’, the ones you dont understand. So de anglos en de saxons went te Engeland en calld de keltic tribes in de west ‘the welsh’, de ones they didnt understaan. And in the Netherlands the same thing happend, they calld the région ware peeple speek an ununderstandable language ‘Waals’, and the french speekers made ‘Wallonie’ of it. In Germany en in Switzerland daar ar no keltic tribes anymore, so they call de nexte nabors in de souden west ‘de welsh’, en in german ‘kauderwelsch’ meens wen many peeple or eeven a single person speeks in difrent languages.

In the old times the walloons had the cole, the monay and the power, the flames wer the pesants. In de belgian colonies they spake franch – no trace of flamish. Meenwile de flames feed de walens, but ye dont heb te denke dat de walens ar really poor. Eeven alone the walloons would be one of the richest peeple in the world. Anyway the nationalist flames nowadays dont like de situatie dat de flames hav te feed de walens, so they want te separete from de Wallony.

I was à few times in Belgium, the first time just shortly over the frontier. Ye take a city bus from de german city of Aachen, go across de border without noticing it but den evryding is difrent, eeven if Aachen looks quite nederlands. The town Kelmis looks quite pink, and makes the impression you ar in a toy town, but in the shops you stil heer german, or a german dialect. Dis is so becaus in Belgie ye dont speek just franch en flamish, but also german, especially in de eest. Many belges speek 4 languages: meest of them speek franch en flaams, en den many speek engels en german. It es doutlessly a good place to be the european capital.

Nowadaagse ye dont denk anything bad about de belgens, they’re a small en modest folk, who wouldnt doe any harm eeven te a flieg, but for a lang time they opressed their african kolonies en they ware responsible for a carnage in Congo. Wich just shows that thare arnt good and bad peeple, evry nation can be cruel, wen it is “necessaire” and you hav the meens for it.

Belgie has little te doe with mijn land, Brazilie, en many hollanders kamen te Brazilie but few belgens. The only fameus brézilien of descendence belge was one of whom few bréziliens ar proud: het was de FIFA president Joao Havelange, de foster fader of Joseph Blatter, de laaste FIFA president. With them FIFA became fameus for thare système corrupte. Joao Havelanges fader was en belg, en te maken matters worse, he was en arms deeler.

The othre thing en common between Belgium and Brézil es INBEV, the result of the fusion of the belge Interbrew and the brézilien AMBEV. De hedquarters ar in Belgie, but de big baas en de majority of de directors ar brazilianen. INBEV es the biggest brewery multinational of the world, and a few yeers ago they swallowed the seccond biggest one, Anhaeuser Bush, the maker of Budweiser – at leest of the american one. Brazil is de derd (3th) biggest bier producer of de wereld, en brazilianen ar basically bier drinkers als de belgens, but in per capita consumptie de belgens drinken meer, altho dis could change in de future: in 1965 Belgie was de seccond biggest bier drinker of de wereld, but they fell te nummer 23 – acording te wikipedia, de americanen ar nummer 17, de australianen nummer 19 (they wer alreddy nummer 2), de english nummer 28, just after de brazilianen who ar nummer 27. The biggest beere drinkers wer de czechs and they remane in the position.

Anyway daar is a bier cultur in Belgie dat ik dont know of any other land. Wen you enter a belge beere boutique you think you entered a paiting factory, so colorful ar they. They maken bier of evryding en with evryding, en ik guess you’d need weeken or maanden te try them all. Wat they eet? Moules et frites, mussels en french fries. Once i askd an american friend in Paris what ‘moules’ ar, he sed they’r muscles. Ik dacht dat was quite funny, te eeten muscles, later ik vond out dat dis is niet tru, ‘moules’ ar ‘mussels’ (german ‘muscheln’), en ik dacht dat dat american vriend could hav gelerned better frans, since he has livd voor so lang daar. But a wile ago i lernd the anglais word ‘mussels’, and it became cleer to me that he had sed mussels, but since i didnt know the word, i understood ‘muscles’, wich has the same pronunciation. English is niet eesy!

After all thare es still a common feeture between belges and bréziliens: both countries hav lots of italiens. Brazilie has de biggest italiane kolonie wereldwijd, Belgie de seccond biggest in Europe. One of thees italiens en Belgium a inventé eeven a new langue, Europanto. It doesnt heb any rules, no fix vocabulary, one mixes op de languages at de wim. Heer es an example de texte:
      1. TODA LA VERITHEIT OVER DE MORTE VAN DIANA


In der story des morte des Diana er esse tropo viel unclaras chosas und confusio. Porqué Diana Mercedes was zo rapido roulante? Waar esse de autra auto mit die bodyguardias gegone? Und supra todo, waar esse el jewello dat Dodi offered aan Diana op aquello eveningo? Mucha estrange coincidenza, cinquo dags later, tambien Zuster Theresa uit Calcutta trespasse al Creator. Somechose kloppe nicht!

 

Voor de belgen dit is all no probleem, but niet all human beings on de planeet ar belgen, zo hier komt de translation:

THE WHOLE TRUETH ABOUT DIANAS DETH

 

De story about Dianas deth hebt many oncleer facts en a lot of confusion. Why Dianas Mercedes was so fast? Waar did de auto with de boddyguards go? And ware es the jewel Dodi gave Diana en that eevening? En a funny coincidence: 5 dage later Moeder Teresa from Calcutta also went over te de Creator. Something there es fishy!
And daar is dis nice pun poetry, or watever ye call het. But you hav to know that Waterloo, being a belge place, es not pronouncé wauterloo as in english, but wah-ter-low. And dat frans l’eau (water) is pronounced de same weg als wen de brits say ‘law’:

“De Hollander zegt water,

de Fransman noemt het l’eau,

een Belg die beide talen kent,

die spreekt van Waterloo

And the translation:

De hollanders say water,

the françai call it l’eau,

de belgen, they spreeken both languages

so they talk of Waterloo…

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