Archive for Dezember, 2013

Spot na pant

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I pensou i rich el ukrainski frontera na nuit, e nixi va perseve la spot in mai pant, mas ik arive na dia, i hav a braziliano pasport – probabli nowen a brazilo pasou dize fronter, la funccionara stere cuazi hipnotizee tu la spot in mai pant, e looke mi pleno de hat. Ik explica co mai ruski de hai cualitee: veni-co-bus-otre-pople-fa-fest-in-bus-cafe-licor-up-pant-i-can-fa-nix! Ela comand un otre funccionaro tu cheke mai stori, lo put la pasporte daun a speciale lampa ki detecta falsizus, cheke si falta pages in mai pasport, e put mi multe cuestionus, incluziv abaut la spot in mai pant. Dopo half ora lo go tu la funccionar e trai explik ela dat lis can no refuz entru tu un autlandi solo cauze li brazilian e hav a spot in su pant. OK, ela sei, e stampa mai pasport, mas as la roya av UK, “she’s not amused”.

(weiterlesen …)

Spoт oн the paнт

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I thaut i’d reech the uкrainsкi бorder in the niтe and they wouldnт noтice the бig spoт on мy panтs, бuт i кuм in the мorning, and i hav a бraziliansкi passporт – proббably they’v nэvver seen a бraziliansкi ciтizen кrossing this бorder – the feeмale oficial (бuтiful, as so мэnny wiммen in this кunтry) is hipnoтized бy the spoт on мy panтs and sтэrs aт мe full of haтred. I eкsplane with мy hi кualiтy russкi, кuм-with-avтoбus-uther-peeple-мaкe-fiesтa-in-avтoбus-кofi-liкor-on-panт-i-кan-do-nuthing! She тэls anuther oficial тo chэк мy кase, he puтs the passporт under a spэcial liтe that seeмs тo deтэкт faкed passporтs, he chэкs if thэr is no paidж мissing, poses a loт of кuэsтions, inкluding кuэsтions aбouт the spoт on мy panтs. Afтer haf an our he goes тo the feeмale oficial and тэls her that they кanт deny the enтry dжusт бeкaus suмбody is бraziliansкi and has a spoт on his panтs. OK, she sэs, and sтaмps мy passporт, бuт as the кueen, she’s noт aмused.

(weiterlesen …)

Maнcha нa кalsa

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Eu pensei кe ia chegar na fronтera кoм a Uкraina a noiт e nao vai тer proбleмa кoм a мancha na кalsa, мas eu chego de мanhan, e eu тenho uм passaporт бrasilianski – provavelмenт nunкa passou uм бrasilianski por эssa fronтera, a funcionaria fiкa кuase ipnoтizada coм a мancha na мinha кalsa e мe enкara cheia de ódio. Eu spliкo тudo кoм o мeu russкi кe э бoм deмais, veм-кoм-avтoбus-oтros-passaжero-faz-fэsтa-liкor-de-кofi-кai-мinha-calsa-eu-nao-pode-fazer-nada! Эla мanda uм oтro funcionario suбalтэrno invesтigar o мeu кaso, ele esaмina o мeu passaporт pra ve se тeм folha falтando, бoтa ele nuмa мachina de esaмinar falsifiкassao eм passaporт, faz мuiтa pergunтa, inкlusiv o кe кe aкonтeceu кoм a мinha кalsa. Depois de uмa мeia ora o кara тenтa spliкar pra chэf dele кe nao da pra reкusar a enтrada a uм sтranжero só porкe ele тeм uм passaporт бrasilianski e uмa мancha na кalsa. Бoм, эla diz, e кariмбa o мeu passaporт, мas gosтar эla nao gosтou nao.

(weiterlesen …)

Flэк aн дer hoзe

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Ich daxтe, ich erreich die uкrainsкaja grэnze in dэr naxт und мa wird мaйn hosenflэк sowiso nich мэrкen, aбer ich кoммe бaй тageslichт an, ich haб aйn бrasиlйansки passporт – warscheinlich кaм nox ni aйn бrasиlйansки durch dise granza – die granza-бeaмтin (schön, aбer schön sind ser vile hir) is fasт hipnoтisirт von мaйм hosenflэк und schauт мich hasserfüllт an. Ich erкlэr alles мiт мaйм тop-russки, кoммen-мiт-бuss-andre-leuтe-мaxen-fйesтa-in-бuss-кofi-liкor-drauf-hose-ich-кann-niкs-мaxen! Si hэтzт aйn andren бeaмтen auf мich, dэr prüfт мaйn passporт unтer aйna passporт-бeleuchтungsмaschina, suxт nax felenden saйтen, sтэllт fragen aйne nax dэr andren, aux nax deм flэк an dэr hos. Nax aйna halбen sтunde versuxт dэr тyp dэr passfrau кlarzuмaxen das мa мir die aйnraйse dox nich verweren кann nur waйl ich aйn бrasиlйansки passporт haб und aйn flэк an dэr hos. Na guт, si sтэмpelт мaйn passporт, aбer wie die queen, is she noт aмused.

(weiterlesen …)

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